Stonehenge a Fraud

No longer considered an alien landing site (wait. was it ever by anyone other than the EIGN contributors?), it turns out England's freak-a-rific Stonehenge apparently was just a burial site. (wapo)
So I guess there's no nova elements here. Or is there? Reading a little further into the article I came across this freaky tidbit. "Based on radiocarbon dating of cremated bones up to 5,000 years old..." Holy crap. We can radiocarbon date cremated bones? That's kind of freaky. or not.

Monkey Mind Control

Oh, we humans are so done for.
According to the journal Nature, scientists have observed two monkeys control a mechanical arm with just their thoughts. We can't even do that. (nytimes) The article is mind-blowing.

"The findings suggest that brain-controlled prosthetics, while not practical, are at least technically within reach." Oh New York Times, how can having a third (all-powerful mechanical super) arm not be practical??

This is further evidence that we'll all be robots soon. Just like how people leave those stupid wireless cell phone things in their ears all the time, even when not in use. Are they not aware that they look like idiots?

So I see two possible outcomes from this: 1. monkeys are going to take over the world. or 2. we'll be robots. If it has to be second option, I want to look like this.

ENVIRO FRIENDLY BOMBS! YES! THERE IS GOOD NEWS TODAY!

We lied, there is good news, courtesy of EIGN co-founder and contributor pete:
"New explosives could be more powerful and safer to handle than TNT and other conventional explosives and would also be more environmentally friendly."

Science type environmentalists (read: idiots) in germany are apparently working on creating ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY BOMBS made out of some scary shit called tetrazoles.(livescience.com via yahoo news)

This article reads like a fucking third grade science report--child writing with a few big words tossed around. "bomb good for earth. but it generate cyanide gas. they fix gas, make bomb stronger. go team."

"In initial experiments, G2ZT and HBT produced fewer toxic byproducts than common explosives. Still, they did generate some dangerous hydrogen cyanide gas. But mixing these compounds with oxidizers not only avoids making hydrogen cyanide, but also improved performance."

Seriously folks. Environmentally friendly bombs? WTF?!?!?!? My heart really goes out to you German scientists for saving the planet. "RECYCLE OR WE'LL BLOW YOU UP WITH OUR GREEN BOMBS."

Good News Wednesday is off

Everyone's favorite feature of EIGN, Good News Wednesday, is off this week. There's apparently no good news out there.

In the meantime you should read this: "I'm so lonesome I could cry". It's a funny and sort of sad column of being a single man in your thirties. (uk times online)

"Straight, proud, unmarried men over 30 (Spurmos) are in crisis. So many have settled down or succumbed to marriage there's no one left to play with. As a single, heterosexual male, I am a dying breed. We are facing extinction. I have watched my friends picked off, one by one, like blue whales in Japanese fishing waters."

Food Shortages Continue

Just three pages apart in Section A of yesterday's washington post about the food problems. The first, about the problems of drought and other shortages leading to an upshot of the cost of bread. Second, even the U.N., in Haiti, can't keep control.

"If people are hungry, they have no stake in stability," said Hedi Annabi, the U.N. special representative in Haiti, in a telephone interview from Port-au-Prince. "They will be ready for anything -- for anarchy -- because they have nothing to safeguard or to fight for." (wapo)

Hooray for anarchy? The question is, what will it take for this to happen here at home? How little food will it take for us to lose are minds? Because as much as we would like to think it could never happen here, it will if things keep getting worse. When that happens, i'm getting a nice winter coat and a bag of soil and heading here.

In fact, things have gotten so bad that the post has assigned a special, on-going, section on their website. But I think we beat them to that game, a lot of our site could be seen as a "special section" covering the global food crisis.

moose love

so this is what it's come to...

animals trying to mount statues. (lyzard.com)

Oceans are a dyin', squids are a flyin'

"Oxygen-starved waters are expanding in the Pacific and Atlantic as ocean temperatures increase with global warming, threatening fisheries and other marine life, a study published [May 2] concludes." (la times)

And it's not just the lack of oxygen that's killing our little salt water friends, it's the JUMBO FLYING SQUID!!! AHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh. Great, now I know that there are two animals that really shouldn't be flying that scare the shit out of me.

Good News Wednesday VIII: the best way to boost your bust and reduce your carbon footprint

Wow. Great news for our lovely female readers. Here's how you can reduce your carbon footprint AND increase your breast size AND prevent dehydration AND tell everyone what's on your mind via your shirt AND increase your breast size? (Yes, I said that twice).

Our great friends in Japan have now invented a solar powered bra! that can do all of these things...and more! So very much more.

An added bit of amusement. The web site that brought us this news is called "Dvice". Get it?