420 (This is Not Good News Wednesday)

File this one under the mankind is getting stupider by the second.

Some idiot tried to sell pot on craigslist. And he got busted. Go figure.

"According to police, Christopher Gray posted the advertisement on the online classified site with the words "420 help is here." The item read "Give me a ring if you need some help," and listed a phone number, which a detective called Friday and arranged for a meeting with Gray in Quincy." (ap)

Note to self: Don't post illegal things on Craigslist anymore.

Legal Twittering

How about getting served court papers by Twitter. Sounds Awesome, right? Well one court in New Zealand already allows it to happen via facebook, and they're sizing up the 160 character micro-blog site as their next means of screwing you over. I've railed against twitter before to my friends (yes, EIGN writers do actually have friends contrary to popular opinion), but I don't think we've taken up the topic of how Twitter is destroy the minds of the youth (and adults) of the world...

"Yesterday in the High Court, associate Judge David Gendall approved the serving of a court order via Facebook... Judge Glendall’s decision followed a similar move by an Australian judge in December, which saw a mortgage-defaulting couple notified via Facebook that they had lost their home." (nbr.co.nz)

How'd you like that? Login to check if any long lost elementary school girlfriends have written on your wall and you find out you've lost your house. Talk about the biggest Fuck You I can think of. Looks like someone didn't just write on their online wall either.

You Can't Say Fuck on Television

Or so says the supreme court, even though I don't think they've made their official ruling yet. (We all know what their decision will be).
"Circumlocutions like "the F-word" and "the S-word" sufficed as the court considered the year's highest-profile free-speech controversy. All signs now point to a tight decision over whether broadcasters can be fined for allowing use of so-called 'fleeting expletives,' which are swear words used in passing." (mcclatchydc.com)

The government's best argument comes directly from the mouth of Solicitor General Gregory Garre: "Loosening indecency standards, Garre warned ominously, could lead to 'Big Bird dropping the F-bomb on Sesame Street.'" Now that I'd like to see.

So I guess this was sort of bad, then:



Thanks to eign reader, and friend, jg3 for the story. And thanks to chase utley for the world series.

Good News Wednesday XXIV: Teachers Take Your Guns To School

Good news if you're a teacher or staff working in the the Harrold Independent School District in Texas. You may soon be able to carry a concealed firearm to school to "deter and protect against school shootings." Because everyone knows that introducing more guns to any school environment surely reduces the amount of guns around children. (dallas morning news)

There are too many great quotes to even include here, so be sure to read the full story, but here are some of the best:

"In order for teachers and staff to carry a pistol, they must have a Texas license to carry a concealed handgun; must be authorized to carry by the district; must receive training in crisis management and hostile situations and have to use ammunition that is designed to minimize the risk of ricochet in school halls."

"'When the federal government started making schools gun-free zones, that's when all of these shootings started.' [Superintendent David Thweatt] said."

My favorite part? Forcing them to use ammunition designed to minimize ricochet in the hallways. That surely violates someones second amendment rights, doesn't it? Teachers/staff of this school district: stand up for yourselves! Use pro-ricochet bullets! And remember, only the liberal east coast elite allow the federal government to impose silly "gun control laws" like stopping you from carrying a deadly weapon in a school or preventing your recently paroled crazy uncle from buying more than three guns at a time.

We've talked about how stupid (some) Texans are before, but this clearly takes the cake.

Slow Down, You Throw Too Fast, You've Got To Make The Moment Last

Imagine you're nine. And you can pitch 40 miles per hour. It doesn't matter that even I probably couldn't hit it. (okay I probably could, barely, but still...) And then you get banned from pitching. (espn)
This is what we're teaching our kids, if you're too good at something we will force you to stop. Or if you're too bad at something we will prop you up. (latimes)

""I feel sad," he said. "I feel like it's all my fault nobody could play,"" the boy said. Cheer up Jericho Scott, it's not your fault. It's the man's fault.

All those crappy players need to learn that sucking at something, in this case baseball, in life is normal. I wish I learned that at nine instead of nineteen, by that point my idealism was crushed AFTER I developed it, not before. Oh to be 10, cynical and depressed.

Most disturbing part of the story: "Local attorney John Williams John Williams was planning to meet with Jericho's parents Monday to discuss legal options. "You don't have to be learned in the law to know in your heart that it's wrong," he said. "Now you have to be punished because you excel at something?"" Aside from the wonderful use of the phrase "learned in the," fucking lawyers have to get their dirty hands in everything. I wonder if you can sue kids for being cry babies. That would set an awesome precedence.

Bees and Guns

Two brief EIGN notes:

BEES: More bee swarms. (the sun) First NYC, Texas, and who knows where else. This time in Exeter, UK. Apparently their language skills are allowing the US and UK bees to communicate. It's only a matter of time before they get those African and Asia bees on their side--then we're really screwed.


GUNS: US Supreme Court calls DC handgun ban unconstitutional. Great, that's exactly what the Nations Capital needs right now, more guns.

Police State in the District of Columbia

From the (washington) examiner:

"D.C. police will seal off entire neighborhoods, set up checkpoints and kick out strangers under a new program that D.C. officials hope will help them rescue the city from its out-of-control violence."

A DC Councilman said "that he worried about D.C. “moving towards a police state.”" Well, at least DC is being granted some sort of state status.

UPDATE: [06.13.2008] Apparently D.C. police have given up on this idea. (the raw story)

Make it and we'll sue.

"The builders of the world's biggest particle collider are being sued in federal court over fears that the experiment might create globe-gobbling black holes or never-before-seen strains of matter that would destroy the planet." (msnbc)

Hmm... how much do we really need to know about "dark matter" or things that happened 13.7 billion years ago or things we will NEVER be able to see, and is it worth creating a small black hole that can get big enough to become a "matter-sucking maelstrom?"