Friday, May 30, 2008

Stonehenge a Fraud

No longer considered an alien landing site (wait. was it ever by anyone other than the EIGN contributors?), it turns out England's freak-a-rific Stonehenge apparently was just a burial site. (wapo)
So I guess there's no nova elements here. Or is there? Reading a little further into the article I came across this freaky tidbit. "Based on radiocarbon dating of cremated bones up to 5,000 years old..." Holy crap. We can radiocarbon date cremated bones? That's kind of freaky. or not.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Monkey Mind Control

Oh, we humans are so done for.
According to the journal Nature, scientists have observed two monkeys control a mechanical arm with just their thoughts. We can't even do that. (nytimes) The article is mind-blowing.

"The findings suggest that brain-controlled prosthetics, while not practical, are at least technically within reach." Oh New York Times, how can having a third (all-powerful mechanical super) arm not be practical??

This is further evidence that we'll all be robots soon. Just like how people leave those stupid wireless cell phone things in their ears all the time, even when not in use. Are they not aware that they look like idiots?

So I see two possible outcomes from this: 1. monkeys are going to take over the world. or 2. we'll be robots. If it has to be second option, I want to look like this.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008


We lied, there is good news, courtesy of EIGN co-founder and contributor pete:
"New explosives could be more powerful and safer to handle than TNT and other conventional explosives and would also be more environmentally friendly."

Science type environmentalists (read: idiots) in germany are apparently working on creating ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY BOMBS made out of some scary shit called tetrazoles.( via yahoo news)

This article reads like a fucking third grade science report--child writing with a few big words tossed around. "bomb good for earth. but it generate cyanide gas. they fix gas, make bomb stronger. go team."

"In initial experiments, G2ZT and HBT produced fewer toxic byproducts than common explosives. Still, they did generate some dangerous hydrogen cyanide gas. But mixing these compounds with oxidizers not only avoids making hydrogen cyanide, but also improved performance."

Seriously folks. Environmentally friendly bombs? WTF?!?!?!? My heart really goes out to you German scientists for saving the planet. "RECYCLE OR WE'LL BLOW YOU UP WITH OUR GREEN BOMBS."

Good News Wednesday is off

Everyone's favorite feature of EIGN, Good News Wednesday, is off this week. There's apparently no good news out there.

In the meantime you should read this: "I'm so lonesome I could cry". It's a funny and sort of sad column of being a single man in your thirties. (uk times online)

"Straight, proud, unmarried men over 30 (Spurmos) are in crisis. So many have settled down or succumbed to marriage there's no one left to play with. As a single, heterosexual male, I am a dying breed. We are facing extinction. I have watched my friends picked off, one by one, like blue whales in Japanese fishing waters."

Monday, May 26, 2008

Food Shortages Continue

Just three pages apart in Section A of yesterday's washington post about the food problems. The first, about the problems of drought and other shortages leading to an upshot of the cost of bread. Second, even the U.N., in Haiti, can't keep control.
"If people are hungry, they have no stake in stability," said Hedi Annabi, the U.N. special representative in Haiti, in a telephone interview from Port-au-Prince. "They will be ready for anything -- for anarchy -- because they have nothing to safeguard or to fight for." (wapo)

Hooray for anarchy? The question is, what will it take for this to happen here at home? How little food will it take for us to lose are minds? Because as much as we would like to think it could never happen here, it will if things keep getting worse. When that happens, i'm getting a nice winter coat and a bag of soil and heading here.

In fact, things have gotten so bad that the post has assigned a special, on-going, section on their website. But I think we beat them to that game, a lot of our site could be seen as a "special section" covering the global food crisis.

Friday, May 23, 2008

moose love

so this is what it's come to...

animals trying to mount statues. (

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Oceans are a dyin', squids are a flyin'

"Oxygen-starved waters are expanding in the Pacific and Atlantic as ocean temperatures increase with global warming, threatening fisheries and other marine life, a study published [May 2] concludes." (la times)

And it's not just the lack of oxygen that's killing our little salt water friends, it's the JUMBO FLYING SQUID!!! AHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh. Great, now I know that there are two animals that really shouldn't be flying that scare the shit out of me.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Good News Wednesday VIII: the best way to boost your bust and reduce your carbon footprint

Wow. Great news for our lovely female readers. Here's how you can reduce your carbon footprint AND increase your breast size AND prevent dehydration AND tell everyone what's on your mind via your shirt AND increase your breast size? (Yes, I said that twice).

Our great friends in Japan have now invented a solar powered bra! that can do all of these things...and more! So very much more.

An added bit of amusement. The web site that brought us this news is called "Dvice". Get it?

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

when bees attack...

This new york post story is really interesting. (did i really just say that?)
Bees keep swarming in New York City and apparently it's only going to get worse.
"We are seeing more colonies surviving in the wild and surviving well enough that they swarm." But the real question is, how do we reconcile this statement with repeated stories of bee's dying off that we've written about before. Twice. The New York Post couldn't be wrong, could it?

UPDATE (5.22.08): They just keep attacking. This time in arizona.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Vatican admits aliens may exist...

...and not just the "illegal" kind.

The Earth has to be going nova now. The "Church" now says there may be life on other planets. From the BBC, "The Pope's chief astronomer says that life on Mars cannot be ruled out."

Wasn't it not too long ago when they killed people for saying that the earth wasn't at the center of the universe. And what the hell, the Pope has a chief astronomer????? That's just a bit too ironic.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Putting a Number on the Food Crisis

6.1 percent. That's how much the cost of food has risen in the last THREE MONTHS!

More numbers, via the washington post:
"The costs of cereal and bakery products increased 1.4 percent from March to April and have risen nearly 20 percent in the past three months on a seasonally adjusted basis. Prices for fats and oils jumped more than 5 percent in April, on a seasonally adjusted annual basis, and have increased more than 26 percent in the past three months. Prices for sugars and sweets increased more than 10 percent during that same period."

Even better, food prices are expected to rise another 5 percent this year, according to Marketplace Weekend. The best part is that people are trying to get rich from the high cost of food which, in turn, makes the cost of food go up. How convenient.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Polar bears to be protected by US...

Late Breaking "Good News Wednesday" News!

Department of the Interior to elevate the polar bear to "threatened" status according to the Endangered Species Act, for whatever that's worth. When all the ice melts what will they do? However, it is a step in the right direction.

Press release here. (usdoi)

Great Tits Enjoy Global Warming

Yes, that's right, you read correctly. Great Tits are thriving in the warmer environment that the UK is experiencing due to global warming.

"Researchers found that great tits are laying eggs earlier in the spring than they used to, keeping step with the earlier emergence of caterpillars." (bbc)

Apparently learning how one species handles environmental adaptations can help us save others, or even ourselves. This really is good news. Plus nobody wants to see Great Tits disappear.

(Thanks to Gina for the link.)

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Cost of porn in california about to go up!

For our loyal california readers (HA! as if we have california readers... yet.)

Your porn is about to get way more expensive.

"The Assembly Revenue and Taxation Committee is scheduled to consider AB 2914, an adult entertainment tax that will be boosted from eight to 25 percent in a proposal to tax strip clubs, porno videos and other adult entertainment." (nbc11)
That's nearly 3 times more tax for those of you bad at math.

Monday, May 12, 2008

"Civilization's Last Chance"

The LA Times, in an Op-Ed piece today, wastes no time in getting to the point of the story. Just look at it's title: "Civilization's last chance." I can't argue with that.

It's all the doom and gloom that we here at EIGN can appreciate. Take this line, for example, "All of a sudden it isn't morning in America, it's dusk on planet Earth." We couldn't have said it better ourselves. Then again, that's probably why we're blogging here where no one reads us and Bill McKibben (author of the piece) is writing in the LA Times.

more excerpts:
"[NASA's James] Hansen's words were well-chosen: "a planet similar to that on which civilization developed." People will doubtless survive on a non-350 [parts per million of Carbon Dioxide in the atmosphere] planet, but those who do will be so preoccupied, coping with the endless unintended consequences of an overheated planet, that civilization may not." (la times)

So we need no more than 350 ppg of CO2 in the atmosphere... and what is it now? 385! Hoorah! Go us. There are countless more examples of our seemingly inevitable future mentioned in this story and it may be one of the scariest EIGN linked-to articles yet. Go read it now!

sharks off antartica

Apparently sharks, crabs and other predators are returning, or are about to, off the coast of antartica. Can you guess what may be the cause of this? Did someone say global warming? If you did, you'd be right. The 1degree warming every 25 years is tipping the scale back in favor of large sea predators which for 40 million years were kept at bay by ice cold water temperatures.

"We expect the populations (of seafloor invertebrates) to take a dive," said one marine biologist. (discovery news)

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Good News Wednesday V - the maybe, just maybe, we'll be okay after all edition

The second "Good News Wednesday" story of the day.

This story brought a tear to my eye (and numerous others that I showed it to last weekend).

Interesting thing I didn't know about baseball/softball: If you injure yourself while running the bases after a home run and can no longer walk, your teammates cannot carry you home. If they touch you it's an automatic out. Your choices: crawl around the bases. Or call in a pinch runner to start at the base you last touched and the home run is nullified. Or, if you're playing against the greatest team ever (the Central Washington University female softball team), you get carried home by your opponent.

"Holtman and shortstop Liz Wallace put their arms under Tucholsky's legs, and she put her arms over their shoulders. The three headed around the base paths, stopping to let Tucholsky touch each base with her good leg."
"In the end, it is not about winning and losing so much," Holtman said. "It was about this girl. She hit it over the fence and was in pain, and she deserved a home run." (fox sports)

Maybe there is hope for man woman-kind after all. You guys rock.

Good News Wednesday IV - The pleasing your roommate edition

Sorry for a lack of a "good news wednesday" post last week, but I didn't happen to see any good news the entire week... However it's a 2 for 1 day today! Two Good News stories. The first could be looked at from either a great news or a sign that the end of the world is already here.

An increasing trend at colleges and universities around the country are co-ed dorm rooms. Not co-ed dorms, but co-ed rooms. Always wanted to live with a girl? Now's your chance. No longer do you have to move off campus to live in sin! (msnbc)

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Polution prevents bees from doing their job

One of Pete's favorite EIGN subjects, CCD, and the alarming increase in bees not being able to pollinate flowers, plus the dramatic and drastic (but not dramatically drastic) consequences that are coming.

"Scientists are seeking to determine why honeybees and bumblebees are dying off in the United States and in other countries, and the new study indicates that emissions from power plants and automobiles may play a part in the insects' demise." (wapo)

Anyone care to guess what happens when bee's can't pollinate flowers? Yeah, I don't want to think about it either.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Controlling the weather will no longer be science fiction

"Mankind has always wanted to control the weather. Now, scientists think they've found a way"

Of the 150+ weather-modification studies currently being pursued around the globe, China, (shocking!), has the most elaborate and extensive projects. "Here, for example, weather-modification "authorities" use conventional military weaponry to bombard clouds with silver-iodide particles." (
I guess this is a better use of military weapons than bombing taiwan, or us for that matter, but holy crap! Ready!, Aim!, Fire! those anti-aircraft cannons at that cloud over there.

The story linked to above has brief descriptions on how scientists plan to prevent storms, bring on rain, make the sun shine, and reduce smog. Besides China, it looks like the Russians are seriously involved too, and we know how much they care about the rest of the world.