Breaking News: Swine Flu A Global Government Conspiracy To Rid Planet of Fat People

Today's breaking news. The earth is indeed going nova, but apparently only for the morbidly obese--at least this week.

H1N1 (ie: Swine Flu) is a government conspiracy to kill fat people.

"What it means for the U.S. population:
These findings are especially worrisome because nearly two-thirds of U.S. adults are now clinically obese. Combined with widespread vitamin D deficiency, nutritional deficiencies and pharmaceutically-induced immune suppression, the U.S. population is more vulnerable to a pandemic right now than any other population in the history of the world." (naturalnews.com)

Sucks to you.

The Stupidest Thing I've EVER Read

I'm not kidding. This really takes the cake.

Some idiot (Mark Pfeifle) over at the Christian Science Monitor suggested a few days ago that the latest,greatest social downfall of man networking site, twitter, should be awarded a Nobel Peace Prize for it's role in last month's Iranian uprising. (Note to Mark: You do realize that peace didn't win over there, right? Are you suggesting we start giving out Peace Prizes for people (and computer software, for that matter) that don't even bring peace?)

To make matters worse, the writing sucks too.

"Although we don't know how the uprising in Iran will end, or where the symbols of freedom and liberty will again be given power by people who require an unfettered means of communicating with the rest of us, Twitter and other social media outlets have become the soft weapons of democracy. Twitter told us the story of Neda's supreme sacrifice. It is telling the story of the Iranian people yearning to breathe free. For those reasons, Twitter deserves consideration for the Nobel Peace Prize." (CSM)

sigh.


In other twitter news, Time Magazine just ran a piece about "How Twitter Will Change The Way We Live." Which I think is a bit of an overstatement, but it was the most thought provoking pro-twitter article I've ever read.

And it was really well written:

"There's a kind of resilience here that is worth savoring. The weather reports keep announcing that the sky is falling, but here we are — millions of us — sitting around trying to invent new ways to talk to one another." (time)

Snippets: Guilt and Stealing and Cyber-Terrorism, Oh-My!

The latest trends foreshadowing the end:

*Guilt: Some idiot in Salt Lake City who stole a stop sign in his youth decided to pay the city back... 35 years later. (npr)

*And speaking of stealing, how about some massive identity theft, stat style: Social security numbers may be hackable. "Two researchers say they've figured out the code, and identity thieves might not be far behind." (msn)

*And speaking of hacking, how about some cyber-terrorism, NoKo style: "Cyberattacks that have crippled the Web sites of several major American and South Korean government agencies since the July 4th holiday weekend appear to have been launched by a hostile group or government." North Korea or pro-North Korea groups have been implicated according to Yonhap, a SoKo news agency. (nytimes)

(gone sitting. back after the 4th)

420 (This is Not Good News Wednesday)

File this one under the mankind is getting stupider by the second.

Some idiot tried to sell pot on craigslist. And he got busted. Go figure.

"According to police, Christopher Gray posted the advertisement on the online classified site with the words "420 help is here." The item read "Give me a ring if you need some help," and listed a phone number, which a detective called Friday and arranged for a meeting with Gray in Quincy." (ap)

Note to self: Don't post illegal things on Craigslist anymore.

I'm Not Afraid Of Global Warming

It's not global warming we here at EIGN are afraid of, it's the idiots that still don't think it's actually happening. We all (should) know that if we don't do anything about it we'll have done a pretty good job of changing this planets environment in an adverse way. And this will, unquestionably, cause significant changes in our lives. Florida may be completely under water--although it remains to be seen if this is actually a bad thing.

Global warming may, or may not, be the death of us all. Frankly I don't think we're going to make it to 2100 to see, but that's besides the point. But global warming isn't what scares me. It's the fucking idiots that continue to insist that it isn't happening.

The "Heartland Institute" ran a full page ad in yesterday's washington post (seen to your left) that says that scientists are avoiding using the scientific method and are using fear tactics to pressure Congress into enacting laws to protect us. However they say "an international survey of climate scientists found that few than half believed climate science was sufficiently established to give policymakers a sound basis for passing laws." Wow, a survey of "climate scientists" say that global warming isn't happening. But they don't mention anything about the numerous reports and years of study that were "repeated and verified" (you probably shouldn't have crossed that one out) by various government and non-government agencies that say global warming IS happening. Read more about a refutation of this, and other heartland institute "facts" at capital weather, a wapo blog.

Let it be known! This is what I screamed from my roof after seeing this advertisement... Global warming of the earth doesn't scare me. It's people like those at the heartland institute that are actually, and actively, causing the fall of man.

Good News Wednesday: The We'll Bee Fine Edition

Bees are on our mind after seeing the front page of the Washington Post today and just reading a story on National Geographic yesterday. So when I tried to find the link to the NG story I came across a post by Thedailygreen.com from January that reported that we should (almost) stop worrying about Colony Collapse Disorder. Or not. But at least Beekeepers in the US have more bees than anytime, ever... in the last 3 years.

The other positive news is that major urban areas are seeing an increase in bee keeping. The roofs and parks of New York City and Washington, DC are becoming an increasingly popular place to harvest them. At least according to the Washington Post today. Who stole the story about NYC bees from National Geographic on May 29th, who actually stole the NYC bee story from the New York Times in 1999.

At any rate. This is your good news of the week.

As an aside, I was going to write up a review of last night's ABC News presentation of Earth 2100, their program about the end of the world, but it was so painful to watch that I couldn't make it through more than 5 minutes. There's my review, I guess.

ABC?!?! WTF ? EIGN??

HOLY SHIT! ABC is airing a program called "Earth 2100: The Final Century of Civilization?" tomorrow night. Tuesday, June 2!. (ie: tomorrow). at 9pm EST.

Holy crap. Wow. Full web information here.

"It's an idea that most of us would rather not face -- that within the next century, life as we know it could come to an end. Our civilization could crumble, leaving only traces of modern human existence behind. It seems outlandish, extreme -- even impossible. But according to cutting edge scientific research, it is a very real possibility. And unless we make drastic changes now, it could very well happen. " (abcnews.com)

The world really must be ending. Network TV is airing a show about the world ending. Wow.