EIGN: We Break News Out of Canada Faster Than You Do

NPR just ran this story today on "All Things Considered" about the cost of popcorn soaring. Does this sound familiar? EIGN readers may remember our post about this nearly a month ago. Hmmm.

EIGN's new tagline-- "EIGN: we break news out of Canada faster than you do" Robert Siegel, we're glad to have you with us.

Your loss, Sex in Space, Beatles as Christian Rock?

I had a good story to pull from the early edition of the sunday washington post. But I can't find it online. Not being able to find something on-line... if that isn't a sign that the world is coming to an end, what is?

... maybe that all those promiscuous, sex-addicted, liberal, atheist monsters want NASA to take space sex more seriously. Promiscuous sex in space? Society truly must be coming to an end. (universe today)

Speaking of liberal atheists, a new previously unreleased interview with everyone's favorite "bigger than Jesus" band, who once even predicted "that Christianity would "vanish and shrink", it turns out that John Lennon was a Christian.

In the interview, which was recorded in 1969 and is being aired on BBC Radio 4's Sunday programme, he talks about the Church of England, his vision of heaven, and expresses disappointment at not being allowed to marry his second wife, Yoko Ono, in church.
"Now I wasn't saying that was a good idea [saying Christianity would "vanish and shrink"], 'cos I'm one of Christ's biggest fans. And if I can turn the focus on the Beatles on to Christ's message, then that's what we're here to do."(telegraph.co.uk)

Wow.

Ocean Garbage Dump

Ever heard about the huge garbage dump in the middle of the Pacific? I heard about it on the radio one time a few years ago. And now Discover Magazine has a very interesting, and at times scary, article on the subject. A number of strong currents all come together at this area of the Pacific Ocean and create a "circular" effect where the garbage hangs out and destroys our environment.

“In the central North Pacific Gyre, pieces of plastic outweigh surface zooplankton by a factor of 6 to 1,” according to a report based on Moore’s research. “Ninety percent of Laysan albatross chick carcasses and regurgitated stomach contents contain plastics. Fish and seabirds mistake plastic for food. Plastic debris releases chemical additives and plasticizers into the ocean. Plastic also adsorbs hydrophobic pollutants like PCBs and pesticides like DDT. These pollutants bioaccumulate in the tissues of marine organisms, biomagnify up the food chain, and find their way into the foods we eat.”

So this is where all of those old paper copies of discover magazine my mom throws away, and the 40 billion plastic, "disposable," bottles of water, end up.

Bionic Eyes Please....

...to go along with my cell phone ear piece. One step closer to being a robot.

Apparently adding tiny LEDs onto the surface of a contact may one day give us the ability to have things projected onto our eyes. How terminator of us.

Examples of an early use would be things that would benefit the, somewhat ironically, audibly impaired by projecting things like a fire alarm alert directly onto their cornea. However, the (mad) scientist behind this project also said, "We are looking right now at gaming, augmented reality, computing, telecom and medical applications." (guardian.co.uk)

A quick read of that sentence makes a lot of sense. There are potentially a large amount of promising applications for this new technology... But wait, did he say "AUGMENTED REALITY", holy christ! That's a bit, um, terrifying. "So yeah, I'm designing a contact that AUGMENTS REALITY! It'll be great!" (clearly not an actual quote)

He didn't, however, list adult entertainment as a potential application of this new device, which clearly drives most technological advancement these days. Or is that what he means when he says "augmented reality." hmm...

What we did with our Stimulus Package

So this is what it's come to. This is the path society has taken. Here's what we did with our stimulation stimulus checks: Buy Porn.

An independent market-research firm, AIMRCo (Adult Internet Market Research Company), has discovered that many websites focused on adult or erotic material have experienced an upswing in sales in the recent weeks since checks have appeared in millions of Americans' mailboxes across the country. (huffington post)

400 million dollars that could go to something, anything, useful now gone.

Everyone's favorite fat republican is now a fat-cat republican. (not that he wasn't already)

As if high gas prices, higher food prices, and aliens at wimbledon weren't enough, turns out Rush Limbaugh just inked a 400 million dollar contract. 38 million a year. 100 million signing bonus. Fat bastard. (ap)


EIGN will be off for a few days, see you next Tuesday or so. Happy 4th of July. Enjoy it, if the Mayans are right we only have 5 left.

GNW XIII: Are you sarcastic? Good, that means you're evolving

A neurophysiologist at UCSF apparently has discovered/decided that sarcasm is an important part of human interaction. (wait, really? important??)

Evolutionary biologists claim that sociality is what has made humans such a successful species. We are masters at what anthropologists and others call "social intelligence." We recognize and keep track of hundreds of relationships, and we easily distinguish between enemies and friends. (livescience.com)

Right, because everyone I know is so "socially intelligent".

I think this example of why sarcasm is such a great evolutionary trait, and my favorite quote from the story, is this:

It's also easy to imagine how sarcasm might be selected over time as evolutionarily crucial. Imagine two ancient humans running across the savannah with a hungry lion in pursuit. One guy says to the other, "Are we having fun yet?" and the other just looks blank and stops to figure out what in the world his pal meant by that remark. (livescience.com)

Did you get my sarcasm? What a stupid quote.

So, if you haven't figured it out yet, this is good news for me because I am sarcastic. And while I might not always be that funny with my sarcasm, at least I get it when someone else tries to be. I won't be tricked into being eaten by a lion anytime soon. Suckers.

Look Up More.

This USA Today article begins: "Summertime — a time for sunny days, beach weekends and of course, leisurely reflections on the end of the world and the monster asteroids that could smack into us." It also quotes a man who has written a book entitled: Death from the Skies! These are the Ways the World Will End. It also spends a good deal of time talking about Tunguska. (You know about Tunguska, right?) "In terms of risk to Earth, astronomer David Morrison of NASA's Ames Research Center says a Tunguska-magnitude strike could happen once every two centuries." That blast could destroy a city the size of Los Angeles in seconds. Or exasperate the global. food. crisis. Awesome.

According to another scientist, who produces the article's conclusion, "The sky isn't falling, but there are still good reasons for keeping an eye on it."
Reasons such as giant balls of rock and ice and fire on a direct collision course with our little planet, or those little rocks we can't even see in the sky that are waiting to fall crashing into your skull, or a rock taking out a satellite, thereby preventing you from using your stupid fucking blackberry. See? It all comes back to you, bitch. This is all your fault. Thanks. (this is not a direct attack at any of our loyal readers)

Just remember, look up more.