Slim Jims Slimming.

We have posted a few times about the destruction of a slim jim factory (and there is surprisingly only one in the US) and how it would lead to a shortage of slim jims this summer.

A few weeks later we posted photographic evidence that there was, in fact, no shortage.

Turns out that that proclamation may have been a bit premature.

Take a look at the latest photographic evidence:

Compare that to the previous slim jim at the convenience store photograph


There are so few slim jims they had to put out another brand of salted "beef" stick. Matador, now is your chance to shine!!!

Hallf of US (us) to die!

Headline on the washingon post today: Swine Flu Could Infect Half of U.S.

Holy shit !

understatement of the year:

"This is going to be fairly serious," said Harold E. Varmus of Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York" (washpost)

fairly!? really?

Okay, We Get It: Nobody Fucking Knows

For Christs sake, can someone please answer the question: Is it or is it not melting.

The washington post says it's 86 degrees somewhere in the western Arctic-1500 miles north of seatle--and that a lot of ice is melting. A lot of ice. "The Arctic Ocean has given up tens of thousands more square miles (square kilometers) of ice on Sunday in a relentless summer of melt, with scientists watching through satellite eyes for a possible record low polar ice cap." (wapo)

Full Story here.
Awesome Photo Via Flickr user jimbrekke.

Death Delayed Again: GOOD NEWS TUESDAY!

The Large Hadron Collider is experiencing even more problems! Sweet. Take that you wanna-be black-hole creating monster!

"Many of the magnets meant to whiz high-energy subatomic particles around a 17-mile underground racetrack have mysteriously lost their ability to operate at high energies." (nytimes)

It could now take "years, if ever," before it can operate at full power.

What have we learned from this little financial and scientific fiasco? God doesn't like it when humans invent another way to destroy themselves so he causes minor, yet crippling, electrical connection problems. Thank you Jesus!


[image via boston.com]

Killer Robots!

Scientists Worry Machines May Outsmart Man (nytimes)

At a recent conference in California leading robotics and AI experts spent a few days discussing the future of their fields. And they "generally discounted the possibility of highly centralized superintelligences and the idea that intelligence might spring spontaneously from the Internet. But they agreed that robots that can kill autonomously are either already here or will be soon."

I'd like one please!

The Government Wants Me Dead

Attention US GOVERNMENT:

I am currently suffering from some or all of the following symptoms:
* hay fever or other upper respiratory allergies
* sneezing
* runny nose
* itchy, watery eyes
* itching of the nose or throat
* nasal congestion due to the common cold, hay fever or other upper respiratory allergies
* swelling of nasal passages
* sinus congestion and pressure
* poor breathing through the nose

In order to temporarily relieve some or all of these symptoms I purchased Claritin-D at my local pharmacy. To do this I was required to show photo identification, have said identification scanned and entered into the computer three different times (likely due to CVS incompetence), sign some electronic device saying something that I did not have time to read because of too quick a timeout, and then actually have to pay 20 bucks for 15 pills.

Why do you require such information for me to buy 15 pills? I am not planning on making the smallest portion of meth ever. Get off my back and let me attempt to breathe in peace.

Thank you.

Slim Jims Everywhere

A few weeks ago we posted about how Slim Jims are going to be an endangered species this summer.

NOT TRUE!

Just take a look at this picture taken at a WAWA in New Jersey:



I see Orignal, Mild, Tabasco Hot, Nacho, Sinister (Double the Meat!), Beef 'n Cheese, Deli Style Meat Stick, Beef Jerky Original, Beef Steak (Teriyaki), and Beef Steak Original.


Slim Jims for everyone!

Why We Rock (Again)

Once again the "Main Street Media" lags behind EIGN...

Last Thursday we wrote about British Health officials promoting sex in their schools.
Yesterday the Washington Post ran it.

Go mainstream! Get your news weeks later!